Friends in High Places

The New York Times reports that pop music producer Dallas Austin was released from detention in Dubai after being convicted of drug possession charges, due to the intervention of Lionel Richie, (who apparently is huge in the Middle East - like Jerry Lewis is in France or David Hasselhof in Germany) Quincy Jones and a third connection that beggars belief - Sen Orrin Hatch (R-UT).

Apparently the man who is named for two Texas cities, entered Dubai to attend the 3 day birthday bash of Naomi Campbell, the super model, at the super swanky Burj Al Arab hotel with a little over a gram of cocaine in his possession. He was frisked at the airport upon arrival and frog-marched to detention where he remained (except for court apperances) from May 19 to July 4. In a supremely symbolic gesture, the Dubai government decided it would be appropriate to give him his freedom on Independence Day.

Now there are several things that puzzle me about this story. Firstly, I can understand Quincy Jones and Lionel Richie rallying to the support of one of their own - I mean music industry types of course. But The Honorable Gentleman from Utah? The staunch supporter of the bid to amend the Constitution to make flag burning illegal? The same upstanding gentleman who is the bulwark of support behind the administration's warrantless surveillance program? The same person who himself eschews alcohol, tea, coffee and all manner of stimulants? Why would he want to be associated with Dallas Austin's seamy situation?

It turns out that Sen Hatch is a musician himself. While his music has perhaps not enjoyed the success of some of Austin's other clients like Madonna, Gwen Stefani and Janet Jackson, he presumably entertains some ambitions in that direction. Apparently his mostly religious recordings have made about $36,000. No platinum there.

Now it all starts to make sense. What better way to ingratiate yourself to the music industry establishment than by leveraging your connections with the government of Dubai (obtained through the enthusiastic backing of the deal where Dubai Ports was going to buy control of a number of American ports) to release one of the music industry's errant sons, from the ignominous fate of rotting in a Middle Eastern prison?

OK I get it. Now only one question remains. Were Austin's name to be say, Buffalo Binghampton or Trenton Newark or even Dayton Cleveland, (that is to say, just another oddly named individual unconnected to the music industry) would he have received the attention of the many luminaries? Probably not.

Oh and just one last thing. Who has 3 day long birthday parties? Clearly no one I know.